why??? hate myself!!!

hmm...i dunno why~

just let me fat lan za 4 a while la~

i hate myself of protecting the ppl who did something wrong~

well, i know why but i m human~

i have got feelings~

no one hopes to be abandoned ok??

i just cant let go anyway~

haaiz~~i think i like self-tortured~

or maybe, in another way-- i ENJOY it~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(another theme)

hmm...maybe this is one of the trainings for me to be more mature~

i mean " grown up"

like * RAPUNZEL* ~

well~ i envy her~

she has got the courage to leave the tower~

and her "MOTHER"~ *mother knows BEST???????*

HATE HATE HATE this damn MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you know????

do you know what i want to be huh???

you know everything???

i mean EVERY!!!!!!!!!!

whew~ fat lan za enough jor la...

finally~

well, i dont mean that~

but it's so lifeless for me now!!!

you know i wont get up so early for NOTHING~

although i got enough sleep~

but i just wont get up!! BCOZ! i have got nothing to do~

i rather slp till 10 thn wake up and find other things to do~

i mean LAME STUFF~

IF! IF i mean~

IF i have got a job~

i know i MUST get up~

so i WILL as i MUST!

you know this??

you know??

do parents know??

no, they dont know~ and they dont want to~ -.-

they are just asking me to stay at home and teach my little bro~

but....this is the time for me to make mistakes~

you should let me learn something else but not locking me in the TOWER~

i mean... maybe i will be

TIRED
UPSET
SHY TO MAKE FRIENDS
GET ANGRY WITH MY BOSS'S ATTITUDEbut i DESERVED isnt it??

this is what i should learn now right??

like social~and communication

am i right????

NOT FAIR!!!

if everyone has the same situation like me i accept it~

but.... is not!! not even a little~

NOT FAIR!!!! YOU NOT FAIR!!!!

i m not asking about jobs like promoter and waitress or cashier in any restaurant~

is just a kindergarten teacher~

is just nearby our house~

why?? i dont understand~

i tried to but i really dont...

is not far~ is not uncommon~

hmmm......in conclusion~ is just not fair...

haiz~

you always say: IS ALL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!!!ya~ for my own good~ for my own good~

i will just obey you and never say NO!

this is why~ i HATE myself T.T

maybe~~~ sometimes i behave too well~

so they expect MORE!!

when i try to be bad~~~

ngek ngek ngek!!! =P

nola~ just kidding~

but i still angry!!

NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!